Unknown Soldier
by Spaghetti13
Summary: A songfic centering around Italy during HetaOni. Based on "Unknown Soldier" by Breaking Benjamin. Rated T to be safe. From Italy's POV.


_**Date Written: **November 14, 2011_

_**Word Count: **1 282_

_**Summary: **A songfic centering around Italy during HetaOni. Based on "Unknown Soldier" by Breaking Benjamin. Rated T to be safe. From Italy's POV._

_**Warnings:** Some strong language/swearing, but not much._

_**Disclaimer:** Hetalia and the lyrics used do not belong to me._

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><p><em><strong>Border line<strong>_

_**Dead inside**_

_**I don't mind falling to pieces**_

This is all for all of them. Everything I am doing is for every last one of them. Even the ones with whom I had fought before, even the ones of whom I was terrified of. The world just wouldn't be the same if one of us died, permanently. So it is for that reason that I keep enduring all the pain of losing them all, again and again and _again_, knowing what is to happen next each time and having to hide it. I just can't bear losing them so many times…But throughout everything, I know that this is right. I have to do this. I have to save them so we could all go back to how things used to be. I am the last one left, I have to help them. No matter how much it's breaking my heart or how damn _tired_ I am, I have to keep going. For them. For all of them. I don't mind going through all of this if it meant that we would _all_ survive, that we would _all_ live to see the outside of that house.

_**Count me in, violent**_

_**Let's begin feeding the sickness**_

It made me happy, the time loop where everyone helped me, where everyone was there for me. I wasn't alone anymore. I wasn't the only one left anymore. I had help. I had people around me. I had friends who were _willing_ to fight beside me. And fight we did.

_**How do I simplify?**_

_**Dislocate**_

_**The enemy's on the way**_

But that house…it messes with your mind. I know I start to forget things…which time loop is this? What am I supposed to do next? Who do I need to protect next? But, no matter what I remember or forget, I keep going. My friends beside me for this current time loop. Even when we think we are safe, however…that _Thing_ would always be there, right behind us. Waiting to strike. And so we would fight again. And again. And _again, _will this ever end?

_**Show me what it's like**_

_**To dream in black and white**_

_**So I can leave this world tonight**_

I am so tired…just so tired. Of everything. Of the fighting, the running, the trying to remember, seeing them die over and over and _over_ again, so many times…it is taking its toll on me. How long had I been in this house now? Which time loop is this? Who's next, again? All I want is to leave, but not on my own. All I want is to leave, with my friends around me. _All_ of them.

_**Full of fear**_

_**Ever clear**_

Even after so many times, I still feel that familiar jolt of fear down my spine when the monster would appear and we would fight. I knew what adrenaline felt like from running away, but the adrenaline rush from fighting was something else. It was scary, just as scary as the monster if not more. Always chasing the fear in circles, trying to wear it down, trying to capture it just as the others had been so many times before. I had never known that being a good runner would end up getting me in this much trouble.

_**I'll be here**_

_**Fighting forever**_

But no matter how tired I got, how many times I had lost track of what was supposed to happen next, who was supposed to die next (which time loop were we on now?) I would keep fighting for them. I would remain in this house forever if I had to, if it would keep my friends alive for that much longer.

_**Curious, venomous**_

_**You'll find me**_

_**Climbing to heaven**_

Oh, how I wish I could leave…Just up and leave. Restart the day, but for good this time. Never having to see that house again. Never having to face that monster again. Never having to see them all die again and again and _again_. I would have even tolerated death by this point, if only it would free me from that house. I found out that I _actually_ had died in one of the time loops. That was a shock. But no, I couldn't die, not again. I needed to get them out. _Alive_. I had to.

_**Never mind**_

_**Turn back time**_

Turning back the time…again and again and _again_, so many times, so many deaths over and over, so many different time loops it is hard to keep track. But there I will go, again and again and _again_, to rewind the time yet another time, to get yet another chance at saving them. I start to wonder if this is all a dream, but the pain I feel at seeing each one of them go… It is enough to tell me that this nightmare is reality.

_**You'll be fine**_

_**I will get left behind**_

I don't want to stay in this house anymore… but if that's what it takes to get the rest of them out… I would stay, if it meant that all the others would be safe. That's what the monster wants, after all. Me. Its last prize, last trophy. All it wants is me. But I want to stay with everyone, so I'll keep on trying. I'll keep on fighting for them. I'll keep on going back again and again, until I get it right. And I _will_ get it right. Everyone will be safe, eventually. I just hope it's this time…

_**Show me what it's like**_

_**To dream in black and white**_

_**So I can leave this world tonight**_

I don't know how much more of this I can take. It's just so hard… Even with my friends, both new and old, beside me… All I want is to leave. That's all I ever wanted. To just leave. Disappear. Go back to the reality that _actually makes a bit of fucking sense._

_**Holding on too tight**_

_**Breathe the breath of life**_

_**So I can leave this world behind**_

Now, all my random hugs and touches have a different meaning. Now, it's only a matter of time before yet another one of them dies and we keep running, fighting, with one less. So I make sure to make them count, to make them meaningful. No less random, no less irritating to some (or most), but with more thought. More companionship. More meaningful.

_**It only hurts just once**_

_**They're only broken bones**_

_**Hide the hate inside**_

_**So I can leave this world behind**_

No. It doesn't just hurt one, or twice, or three times. It hurts every single time I see one of them die. Every single time. It hurts like the first time I got out alone every time I see yet another death, yet another fallen bloodstained body, yet another set of bloodstained white sheets or walls or pianos or god-knows-what-else. It's not just broken bones. It's breaking my heart. Every single time.

_**Show me what it's like**_

_**To dream in black and white**_

_**So I can leave this world tonight**_

_**Holding on too tight**_

_**Breathe the breath of life**_

_**So I can leave this world behind**_

I hope this is the last time loop. I hope this is the last time I have to live through this nightmare. I hope that this time, finally, we will find a way out of this forsaken house. _All of us._ I refuse to leave anyone behind.

All I want is to leave, to be safe again, to be back where everything is normal and I'm not constantly jumping from the slightest noise or frantically looking over my shoulder.

All I want is for us to survive. _Together._


End file.
